A prayer (no, cry) from my heart to my God at the beginning of my trip to Africa -
God help me not to feel guilty, so sad that I have been so ignorant of the poverty, way these people live. But it is not enough to feed them, help them get clean, or give them material possessions… they need you Jesus! How do I show them? How do I truly help? What would you have me to do? How have you called me to be? Who do you say I am to these people, and the children, orphans you have called my heart so strongly to love. In what ways am I to help? Give me strength, courage, might, fire, passion, deepest love to do your will for me. Show me what to do, take away guilt, sorrow, fear, unworthy-insufficient feelings - because you are sufficient! My strength though I am weak. Your grace is sufficient for me! Thank you. Don’t let the enemy get me caught up in guilt for being ignorant, worldly, materialistic, selfish, and not doing anything to help those who are your children too, whom you love and call me to help! But move me to action, powerful break through, doing your work! Which does not spoil, which stores up my hearts treasures in heaven, values the things that are most real! This is also my prayer for all of you in your adventure/journey, seeking Gods will for your life!
Annnnndddd - Super random thoughts from Hannah... (written on my trip)
How are we to show then His love and goodness, when all they have known is suffering? Hardship, poverty, sorrow…. Pain. Yet even us who do know His goodness and love forget so easily, even when you show us- are soo close and love on us. We move on and forget, lose intimacy with you which is so important! Vital to being effective in your kingdom. Teach us to remember, and press into, accept your love. Understand and dwell on how you love us, daily.
Watching how a child’s attitude can change, by simply letting him know that he is loved. Asking him to be my friend, his face lights up. He feels loved, wanted, important to someone, and this makes him smile, have joy, love back. When before he knew this, he acted bitter, hard, like he was trying to be mean to everyone around… even the little boys on the plane, not orphans – yet longing to be loved. They ended up sitting in my lap, and playing with me, hugging, I even got a kiss on the cheek! Ha ha.
Being a part of something bigger than me – I love this, because there is so much comfort and security in knowing that it takes all of me, and God is fully sovereign, in all control, because I know that it is God and not me. And He will not fail! He is doing the work, and it will be greater than I could do. He is faithful, does not fail, mighty and powerful. He uses our weaknesses as His strengths through us so that we know it is not our own doing! I love this… I love that He ignites passions and deep desires in our hearts, that are not our flesh’s… they were always there but He put them there, He reveals His will in His time. I love surprising myself, and realizing that it was not me, but God. So let Him use your weaknesses ☺