It is so amazing to actually spend yourself on behalf of the hungry! To clothe the naked, to pour yourself out like a drink offering… and at the end of the day… my feet hurt!!! Ha, ha. I am with Visiting Orphans in Ouanaminthe, Haiti at Danita’s children’s orphanage. She already had about 75 children, and brought 34 new ones a few days ago! We have one leg amputee who is 26 year old boy named Jocelyn
an arm amputation and broken ankle on a 13 year old girl named Catiana,
a little boy I have been working with a lot named Johnny who is about 6 who has a broken femur AKA now a steel rod – he was expected to be walking by now, but he lost his home, family, and everything he knew and was comfortable with, and now cant walk… so it is expected to take a little longer ☺ We are getting there!
Today we flew in 3 more children – one named Amani who has a broken pelvis and left leg (She had writing on her cast telling us her name and when to take the cast off – from what she told us she lived with her Aunt and after the quake doesn’t know where she is), so she has a cast from the waist down her left leg and she is 12,
one named Nonique who has had an amputated arm as well as a cast from his hips down his right leg which we got an x-ray of today (they did not have a way to x-ray at the port a prince grounds so they estimate, assume, and cast) his leg was not set correctly the femur is completely broken and has slid so the broken ends are side by side instead of meeting – therefore we were going to have him sent to have surgery to have the bones re-broken and re-set since they have started to fuse together this way – but because the bones have already re-fuses now we can not get it fixed here, in America they probably would, but can not here, this is going to take a miraculous act of God in order for one of his legs not to be shorter than the other for the rest of his life! PRAYERS!
–A boy with cerebral palsy that is only about 2 – didn’t have a name, and was dropped off at the grounds in port a prince by his mom who didn’t want him anymore after the earthquake… he has been named – Joen – French pronounced like John.
These are the kids we have now and there will be more coming! Momma Danita has gone to pick up more kids from port a prince so who knows how many we will have beyond the 109 that are here now! This is a really hard transition for the children but thanks to your prayers and Gods grace it is going well ☺ A lot to do! I love it!!!
“Do you sometimes just need a hug?” - Amanda “every time” – little girl in her lap haha ☺
I am learning a little Creole, ha, ha its pretty funny… first I learned to say go to bed or lay down ha, needed when I spent the night with the new children in the church building on the orphanage property! Wild nights ☺ Then I learned sit down, and now quiet, water, hello, good, beautiful, thank you, what’s your name, food, your welcome… my mind is soo full trying to remember all their names, the names of the staff and volunteers around me, and the new words… wow, sometimes I just blank and cant think at all…. Yeah ☺
Literally being the hands, feet, laps…etc. of Jesus to these children! Feeding, bathing, helping to use the bathroom, and helping walk/or carrying… for those who cant do it themselves. Watching them come alive and come out of how they hide at first… loving on those who need love sooo much! And have felt none for so long!
Johnny – my boy that’s learning to walk again has a pretty awesome story! His home, and parents were taken by the earth quake, he had wounds and a broken leg, and sat for 11 days after his surgery waiting on someone to take him – claim him (they have to do this after all the emergency surgery’s because they cant spend all their time on finding someone to claim or take care of them… there are so many that they have to move on to the next one). Finally Danita and her team there found him and decided to take him back here with them. Now he is adjusting to the life of being here with all the other children and we are working to rehabilitate his leg… it is so important to get him moving on it or he will walk with a limp for the rest of his life! He is not motivated, understandably depressed and saddened… it is so hard for me to push him and make him practice when I know he doesn’t want to and it isn’t comfortable but I know I have to do what’s best for him if I truly love and want the best for him – the way our God does for us ☺
A few facts I have learned while in Haiti –
Fact – you can name a kid ANYTHING you want to… any sounds you can make – put together and you have a new name.
Fact – roosters do not only crow in the morning! They crow any dang time they want!
Fact – God answers prayer! Like healing, when you have strep throat, are dehydrated, and start your period and are still able to work as hard as you can serving Gods beloved!
Fact – a white watch was an un-wise decision – seeing as my heart is being called and life is gearing towards missions/orphans/other countries… its not white anymore…
Fact – I want/need to learn more languages! They speak Spanish, Creole, French, and English here…
Last fact – other countries such as Haiti, Africa, and Japan have amazingly awesome fruit!
God causes our hearts to fall in love with broken hearts… and such a beautiful thing this is!
Hmmm… there is not a mirror in the entire place so I haven’t seen what I really look like in days ☺ haha and kinda like it! Instead of bottles of water they have little bags of water that you simply bight a hole in and suck the water out… pretty good idea ☺ there is no shower curtain, very freeing… ha
Here’s a typical day for since I cant tell you about them all! –
Because no photographers came on this trip (most of our team members are medical) there wont be a lot of good pictures – the ones you will see will not be of the hard work we get to do – serving – acting on our Fathers words, obeying Him! – about our Fathers business – they’ll be of the (little) playtime – when the kids confiscated my camera…! What you wont see pictures of will be – me taking care of little Johnny’s needs – of me carrying him up to take a nap (trying to decide what’s best for him – and EVERYONE has a strong opinion on this!) waking him up after less than 1 hour (as I was told to, and to his dismay). I asked him if he had to pee. He didn’t say – assuming he didn’t (because he is supposed to understand the words pee pee and poo poo and tell us when he needs to, but I shoulda made him). I carried him down stairs (got reprimanded for this – “he needs to walk”) Even though he had surgery about a week ago, lost his family, is depressed…. He should be doing more at this point. We sat on a bench – he proceeded to cry out something (we can not understand each other – do not speak the same language) and pee – A LOT everywhere…. All over the place! At this point all adults had left me and only a few children were around… I scoop him up and carry him to find someone to help me get him new clothes (I didn’t know where to find any) I take him to the clinic we have set up and ask them about clothes and they ask me why I am carrying him (I only found out later that they didn’t realize who I had and just thought I was carrying a boy who had peed on himself…) so I’m thinking yeah I know “HE SHOULD BE WALKING” hahaha. Eventually we found him clothes and got him cleaned up, we checked his temperature and found it was 102.5 therefore maybe his wound was getting infected, changed his bandage, gave him a shot for antibiotics, and let him sleep some more. He then woke with a vengeance and ate 3 plates of rice and beans (he wont eat anything else!) and took a nice poo ☺ that I was responsible for wiping off… haha (thanks to working at the day care this wasn’t a problem). At this point (as usual) I stink, am wet – sticky… but the day continues on ☺ a sweet little girl falls to sleep on me knocked out from sheer exhaustion! Also longing for loving and affection (snuggling in great in 90 degrees haha). Then I got to help put together the new bunk beds for the port a prince children to sleep in! After putting my lil sleeper in a bed I soon got the hang of my tools… eventually ☺ Later there was more taking care of Johnny – working on walking or standing at least, feeding the children, taking care of all needs and then eventually going back to an awesome cold shower and bed!!!
He said –
Spend yourselves on behalf of the hungry – Isaiah 58:10 and the whole chapter!
Take care of the fatherless/motherless… Deuteronomy 10:18
Feed the hungry, clothe the naked – Isaiah 58:7 and Matthew 25:35
Speak up for those who cant speak for themselves – Proverbs 31:8
Defend the rights of the poor and needy – Proverbs 31:9
“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” – James 1:27
Anything we do for the least of these – one of these little ones we do for HIM! – Matthew 25:40 – “The king will reply, I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me” – WOW!!! Sooo powerful! Even more it also says “I tell you the truth whatever you DID NOT do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.” We must obey these direct commands from our God! This is Jesus being strait up truthful with us and it is serious, He means it!
“And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward.” Matthew 10:42
“Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead…. Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that – and shudder…. You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did… As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.” James 2
Lose your life to truly find it – Matthew 10:39
Seek first His kingdom and all else will be given to us – Matthew 6:33
“If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. – 1 John 3:17
We had church today – God was speaking to my heart about the pride, and selfishness, and the lack of wisdom and spiritual maturity in myself and others… especially Americans! Pray that I will learn this lesson and I pray for others as well on this… I don’t think we realize at all how proud and selfish we really are! Obedience is something we chose not to focus on and it is all over the Bible and soo important! A simple act of obedience from one person is what makes an awesome ministry like this orphanage happen!
For some reason it has taken longer for me to see in Haiti than in Africa but the extremely beautiful spirits of these people are soo pronounced! If they can trust God, rest in His hands – love, rejoice, thank Him – have joy, peace, and love – amidst such tragedy, poverty, and disaster, living in the second poorest nation! Surely I should also! What selfishness to even doubt, fear, or complain…
The pastor talked about “Mamma Danita” answering the call of God… I heard Him – my Daddy, say “Answer me Hannah” I teared up instantly! I said YES! What is your call? Where, when, and what, I want nothing else! Nothing more, than to answer YES!
I can get stuck in these accusing, convicting thoughts like the first ones I talked about having this morning (pride, selfishness, obedience) and feel hopeless. I know that this is not His will! I thank Him that He is all that is good! He works even when I am so unworthy – let my flesh come through in evil – selfish… but the devil is the accuser – and he is right (I am selfish, unwise…etc.) but thank you Lord that you’ve covered it! Change my heart, character to be like Jesus! Your word says you are not finished and will complete the good work you’ve started! I receive you Lord, please come in – convict, change, purify me, my heart, my character! Praise you Lord that you do this! You are sovereign and all sufficient in all my weakness! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
p.s. the pictures didnt work out exactly how I wanted them to... but you can figure out who's who :)
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Off to Haiti for some spiritual warfare!!! Prayers please ☺
I am going to the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, the second poorest in the world … a cursed place, God wants to give prosperity! I am going to a place that at one time, if I am correct, in order to become free from French oppression or rule, made a pact with the devil that if they were to gain freedom they would serve him… I am going strait into spiritual warfare, intense! I need to be covered in Christ’s blood every day!!! Every moment! Prayers please! Intercession and warring for those people and for me too… that I would be used mightily and not hindered by the devil, by fear, by physical infirmities… or any other attack he may bring against me! No weapons may prosper against the sons and daughters of God! Haiti is in such deep poverty… and troubles, while the Dominican republic prospers – seems blessed, RIGHT ON THE SAME ISLAND!!! That is spiritual in nature… a lush, beautiful land on one side with dirt and intense, dieing of malnutrition - kind of poverty right on the other side of a thin line…. Wow! 490,000 orphans in Haiti alone!!! 300,000 children in slavery in Haiti!
A lil more from Africa… I’m tellin you I’ve got a lot…
Watching how a child’s attitude can change, by simply letting him know that he is loved. Asking him to be my friend, his face lights up. He feels loved, wanted, important to someone, and this makes him smile, have joy, love back. When before he knew this, he acted bitter, hard, like he was trying to be mean to everyone around… even the little boys on the plane, not orphans – yet longing to be loved. They ended up sitting in my lap, and playing with me, hugging, I even got a kiss on the cheek! Ha ha.
I think I (sorry boys) started my female monthly troubles about the moment our plane hit the ground in Ethiopia. So with this lovely aching in my back, stomach, and knees, the fact that I got very little sleep in the past 3 some hours, the insanely long line that took us about 2 hours to get through to receive our visas to enter the country, plus the hauling of all our luggage, it was refreshing that God had reminded me on the plane as I read in 2 Cor. 6 particularly verses 4 through 10 that it is not easy to do His will and His work that He calls me to.
“As servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.”
As a servant of God, who will face hardships, troubles, distresses, even beatings imprisonment, riots, hard work, sleepless nights, and hunger, I should have endurance through these and fight for purity, understanding, patience, kindness in the Holy Spirit, and sincere love. This passage is encouraging because it shows that it is okay for me to face all this, because I have God on my side, and He says that these things will happen! Even the smell, the moment you step into the Ethiopian airport, just smells dirty, like sweat, and spices foreign to my nose. The people themselves smell… similar to the homeless in Nashville, but you don’t even mind when you think of Gods great love for this un-reached people!
I think I (sorry boys) started my female monthly troubles about the moment our plane hit the ground in Ethiopia. So with this lovely aching in my back, stomach, and knees, the fact that I got very little sleep in the past 3 some hours, the insanely long line that took us about 2 hours to get through to receive our visas to enter the country, plus the hauling of all our luggage, it was refreshing that God had reminded me on the plane as I read in 2 Cor. 6 particularly verses 4 through 10 that it is not easy to do His will and His work that He calls me to.
“As servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.”
As a servant of God, who will face hardships, troubles, distresses, even beatings imprisonment, riots, hard work, sleepless nights, and hunger, I should have endurance through these and fight for purity, understanding, patience, kindness in the Holy Spirit, and sincere love. This passage is encouraging because it shows that it is okay for me to face all this, because I have God on my side, and He says that these things will happen! Even the smell, the moment you step into the Ethiopian airport, just smells dirty, like sweat, and spices foreign to my nose. The people themselves smell… similar to the homeless in Nashville, but you don’t even mind when you think of Gods great love for this un-reached people!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Haiti orphans!!! Such desperate need! I am longing to go be His hands and feet to those children!!!
I dream at night about taking care of these kind of children! I see their little faces and long to give them love, food, clothes, and Jesus! I believe this is what God created me to do, and I want to do everything I can to go!
“The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” Matthew 9:37
“To lose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke… to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter – when you see the naked to clothe him… If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves on behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed…” Isaiah 58:6-10. To spend myself on behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed… has always resonated with my heart! It is my deepest desire to do so.
Proverbs 31:8 states to “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.”
It is amazing how my God can take my heart and give it to anyone He wants… and to think that I used to think it was my own! I know I just went to Africa, but there is soo much need in Haiti and He is calling me to help His children! Orphaned, and in total distress beyond what we in America can even imagine! I am in such a stage in life, where I am totally free… and can just leave! Go and help, and do and serve Him in this way in other countries… my only obstacle is finances, and I do not want the enemy to place that in the way of me doing Gods will! The devil could use my pride, or fear, or humble spirit because I know how little I really am! To cause me to not ask, and therefore not go… and I feel that God is calling my heart to those children! To do all I can to show them His love! And I am asking for your support… in any way you can! I understand that we do not all have money to give to those in need/in other countries… I do not! But if you can help in any way, I need to raise 1,600 dollars as soon as I can, so I can go to Haiti. If not I beg for your prayers! Intercession, for Gods will to be done, for people to know His love there and be saved! Their hearts, their nation to turn towards the one true God! I thank you in advance for all your support and help! Once I get there, for only $10 a day I could stay beyond the 1 week. I would love nothing more than to stay as long as they needed and wanted me! I would live at the orphanage with the children for that cost… anything beyond the 1,600 that I could raise would go towards this! How powerful to be His hands and feet to those children! His sons and daughters in distress, needing to know Him and be loved, fed… served! This would be completely tax deductible. We leave Tuesday January 26th, and we are going to the Dinita orphanage.
Verses – James 1:27 says – “Pure and undefiled religion before God the Father is this: to care for orphans and widows in their misfortune (distress) and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”. That is exactly what I am burning to do!
Please help me to passionately obey our God, and partner with me to help those He longs to help….
I thank you soo very much for your support in whatever way you are able! To donate to my trip go to this web site - http://isaiah49.blogspot.com/ - which is the director of Visiting Orphans’ blog. There is a link if you scroll down a little, and just make sure to specify that it is for me ☺. Also on this page you can see some information about the Dinita orphanage which is where we will be!
"If there be any point in which the Christian church ought to keep its fervor at a white heat, it is concerning missions. If there be anything about which we cannot tolerate lukewarmness, it is the matter of sending the gospel to a dying world." - Charles Haddon Spurgeon
“The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” Matthew 9:37
“To lose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke… to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter – when you see the naked to clothe him… If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves on behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed…” Isaiah 58:6-10. To spend myself on behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed… has always resonated with my heart! It is my deepest desire to do so.
Proverbs 31:8 states to “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.”
It is amazing how my God can take my heart and give it to anyone He wants… and to think that I used to think it was my own! I know I just went to Africa, but there is soo much need in Haiti and He is calling me to help His children! Orphaned, and in total distress beyond what we in America can even imagine! I am in such a stage in life, where I am totally free… and can just leave! Go and help, and do and serve Him in this way in other countries… my only obstacle is finances, and I do not want the enemy to place that in the way of me doing Gods will! The devil could use my pride, or fear, or humble spirit because I know how little I really am! To cause me to not ask, and therefore not go… and I feel that God is calling my heart to those children! To do all I can to show them His love! And I am asking for your support… in any way you can! I understand that we do not all have money to give to those in need/in other countries… I do not! But if you can help in any way, I need to raise 1,600 dollars as soon as I can, so I can go to Haiti. If not I beg for your prayers! Intercession, for Gods will to be done, for people to know His love there and be saved! Their hearts, their nation to turn towards the one true God! I thank you in advance for all your support and help! Once I get there, for only $10 a day I could stay beyond the 1 week. I would love nothing more than to stay as long as they needed and wanted me! I would live at the orphanage with the children for that cost… anything beyond the 1,600 that I could raise would go towards this! How powerful to be His hands and feet to those children! His sons and daughters in distress, needing to know Him and be loved, fed… served! This would be completely tax deductible. We leave Tuesday January 26th, and we are going to the Dinita orphanage.
Verses – James 1:27 says – “Pure and undefiled religion before God the Father is this: to care for orphans and widows in their misfortune (distress) and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”. That is exactly what I am burning to do!
Please help me to passionately obey our God, and partner with me to help those He longs to help….
I thank you soo very much for your support in whatever way you are able! To donate to my trip go to this web site - http://isaiah49.blogspot.com/ - which is the director of Visiting Orphans’ blog. There is a link if you scroll down a little, and just make sure to specify that it is for me ☺. Also on this page you can see some information about the Dinita orphanage which is where we will be!
"If there be any point in which the Christian church ought to keep its fervor at a white heat, it is concerning missions. If there be anything about which we cannot tolerate lukewarmness, it is the matter of sending the gospel to a dying world." - Charles Haddon Spurgeon
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
A prayer (no, cry) from my heart to my God at the beginning of my trip to Africa -
God help me not to feel guilty, so sad that I have been so ignorant of the poverty, way these people live. But it is not enough to feed them, help them get clean, or give them material possessions… they need you Jesus! How do I show them? How do I truly help? What would you have me to do? How have you called me to be? Who do you say I am to these people, and the children, orphans you have called my heart so strongly to love. In what ways am I to help? Give me strength, courage, might, fire, passion, deepest love to do your will for me. Show me what to do, take away guilt, sorrow, fear, unworthy-insufficient feelings - because you are sufficient! My strength though I am weak. Your grace is sufficient for me! Thank you. Don’t let the enemy get me caught up in guilt for being ignorant, worldly, materialistic, selfish, and not doing anything to help those who are your children too, whom you love and call me to help! But move me to action, powerful break through, doing your work! Which does not spoil, which stores up my hearts treasures in heaven, values the things that are most real! This is also my prayer for all of you in your adventure/journey, seeking Gods will for your life!
Annnnndddd - Super random thoughts from Hannah... (written on my trip)
How are we to show then His love and goodness, when all they have known is suffering? Hardship, poverty, sorrow…. Pain. Yet even us who do know His goodness and love forget so easily, even when you show us- are soo close and love on us. We move on and forget, lose intimacy with you which is so important! Vital to being effective in your kingdom. Teach us to remember, and press into, accept your love. Understand and dwell on how you love us, daily.
Watching how a child’s attitude can change, by simply letting him know that he is loved. Asking him to be my friend, his face lights up. He feels loved, wanted, important to someone, and this makes him smile, have joy, love back. When before he knew this, he acted bitter, hard, like he was trying to be mean to everyone around… even the little boys on the plane, not orphans – yet longing to be loved. They ended up sitting in my lap, and playing with me, hugging, I even got a kiss on the cheek! Ha ha.
Being a part of something bigger than me – I love this, because there is so much comfort and security in knowing that it takes all of me, and God is fully sovereign, in all control, because I know that it is God and not me. And He will not fail! He is doing the work, and it will be greater than I could do. He is faithful, does not fail, mighty and powerful. He uses our weaknesses as His strengths through us so that we know it is not our own doing! I love this… I love that He ignites passions and deep desires in our hearts, that are not our flesh’s… they were always there but He put them there, He reveals His will in His time. I love surprising myself, and realizing that it was not me, but God. So let Him use your weaknesses ☺
God help me not to feel guilty, so sad that I have been so ignorant of the poverty, way these people live. But it is not enough to feed them, help them get clean, or give them material possessions… they need you Jesus! How do I show them? How do I truly help? What would you have me to do? How have you called me to be? Who do you say I am to these people, and the children, orphans you have called my heart so strongly to love. In what ways am I to help? Give me strength, courage, might, fire, passion, deepest love to do your will for me. Show me what to do, take away guilt, sorrow, fear, unworthy-insufficient feelings - because you are sufficient! My strength though I am weak. Your grace is sufficient for me! Thank you. Don’t let the enemy get me caught up in guilt for being ignorant, worldly, materialistic, selfish, and not doing anything to help those who are your children too, whom you love and call me to help! But move me to action, powerful break through, doing your work! Which does not spoil, which stores up my hearts treasures in heaven, values the things that are most real! This is also my prayer for all of you in your adventure/journey, seeking Gods will for your life!
Annnnndddd - Super random thoughts from Hannah... (written on my trip)
How are we to show then His love and goodness, when all they have known is suffering? Hardship, poverty, sorrow…. Pain. Yet even us who do know His goodness and love forget so easily, even when you show us- are soo close and love on us. We move on and forget, lose intimacy with you which is so important! Vital to being effective in your kingdom. Teach us to remember, and press into, accept your love. Understand and dwell on how you love us, daily.
Watching how a child’s attitude can change, by simply letting him know that he is loved. Asking him to be my friend, his face lights up. He feels loved, wanted, important to someone, and this makes him smile, have joy, love back. When before he knew this, he acted bitter, hard, like he was trying to be mean to everyone around… even the little boys on the plane, not orphans – yet longing to be loved. They ended up sitting in my lap, and playing with me, hugging, I even got a kiss on the cheek! Ha ha.
Being a part of something bigger than me – I love this, because there is so much comfort and security in knowing that it takes all of me, and God is fully sovereign, in all control, because I know that it is God and not me. And He will not fail! He is doing the work, and it will be greater than I could do. He is faithful, does not fail, mighty and powerful. He uses our weaknesses as His strengths through us so that we know it is not our own doing! I love this… I love that He ignites passions and deep desires in our hearts, that are not our flesh’s… they were always there but He put them there, He reveals His will in His time. I love surprising myself, and realizing that it was not me, but God. So let Him use your weaknesses ☺
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Back from Africa... and forever changed is too obvious a statement...
Basically I have way too much to put on here! But no one would read it all in a row!
So here is a journal type entry from my trip, that is readable in less than an hour... ha, ha
God moved swiftly in my heart, and I'll put more up later :)
Today we fed and loved on the karamajong people, they have a small village, and are the deepest outcasts, the poorest of the poor… the children were so many! Just running around, hugging on us… sooo desperate for love! Yet fighting with each other… over holding my hands… or being held, or places in line…etc. They just seemed so hopeless! Like they had no real reason to even have any hope… the little girls wore the oldest, ragged dresses I have ever seen! With holes and tears in what strangely seem like they were really nice dresses at some point, a looong time ago. The older kids here seemed very hard, cold, and bitter/almost cynical about us being there, like you would imagine street kids, who do whatever it takes to live! To survive, by doing things like stealing … this was sad because that is so hard to break through! And then they wouldn’t want us holding their little siblings even though some of them were mistreating them. some times I would see a big sister or brother taking care of the babies, sweetly, but sometimes they would have them on their backs in a cloth… sometimes sleeping… and when they would start to slip they would jerk leaning forward to pull them back up, but throwing the baby around… it hurt my heart to see these tiny ones crying… they didn’t understand! Why was life so bad so early? I don’t understand… such sweet, pure innocent lives, destined to be cold, hard, defensive, hurting, underfeed, under-loved people… I held one baby boy… for a long time, and fell entirely in love. I have never loved so deeply to fast! I wanted to keep him so bad, if I could I would have adopted him… apparently these children had parents, just were very poor. He snuggled in close to my body and had such a sad little expression on his face… I held him, not caring that my arms were going numb (or that he was dirty, snotty, and mostly naked)… after just a little bit he fell asleep in my arms, soooo sweeeet! One of the saddest things I have had to do was give him back… and see how they treated him… slung him around and let his little shirt (all he had) come up and expose his nakedness, where as I had kept his shirt tucked down under him like a onesey… I didn’t care for a second that he very likely could pee or even poop on me, or the snot and dirt that was getting all over my white (stupid decision!) shirt. That he was so comfortable, felt safe, and at peace with me to sleep in my arms fully trusting me and preferring me over all those he knew so well…. Broke my heart into a million pieces. Tears were deffininately shed as we loaded onto the bus and I felt as if I were leaving my heart behind… therefore there is now a hole punched in my chest. God can give my heart to whomever He wishes… and He keeps breaking it for what breaks His… and giving it away over and over again…
Basically I have way too much to put on here! But no one would read it all in a row!
So here is a journal type entry from my trip, that is readable in less than an hour... ha, ha
God moved swiftly in my heart, and I'll put more up later :)
Today we fed and loved on the karamajong people, they have a small village, and are the deepest outcasts, the poorest of the poor… the children were so many! Just running around, hugging on us… sooo desperate for love! Yet fighting with each other… over holding my hands… or being held, or places in line…etc. They just seemed so hopeless! Like they had no real reason to even have any hope… the little girls wore the oldest, ragged dresses I have ever seen! With holes and tears in what strangely seem like they were really nice dresses at some point, a looong time ago. The older kids here seemed very hard, cold, and bitter/almost cynical about us being there, like you would imagine street kids, who do whatever it takes to live! To survive, by doing things like stealing … this was sad because that is so hard to break through! And then they wouldn’t want us holding their little siblings even though some of them were mistreating them. some times I would see a big sister or brother taking care of the babies, sweetly, but sometimes they would have them on their backs in a cloth… sometimes sleeping… and when they would start to slip they would jerk leaning forward to pull them back up, but throwing the baby around… it hurt my heart to see these tiny ones crying… they didn’t understand! Why was life so bad so early? I don’t understand… such sweet, pure innocent lives, destined to be cold, hard, defensive, hurting, underfeed, under-loved people… I held one baby boy… for a long time, and fell entirely in love. I have never loved so deeply to fast! I wanted to keep him so bad, if I could I would have adopted him… apparently these children had parents, just were very poor. He snuggled in close to my body and had such a sad little expression on his face… I held him, not caring that my arms were going numb (or that he was dirty, snotty, and mostly naked)… after just a little bit he fell asleep in my arms, soooo sweeeet! One of the saddest things I have had to do was give him back… and see how they treated him… slung him around and let his little shirt (all he had) come up and expose his nakedness, where as I had kept his shirt tucked down under him like a onesey… I didn’t care for a second that he very likely could pee or even poop on me, or the snot and dirt that was getting all over my white (stupid decision!) shirt. That he was so comfortable, felt safe, and at peace with me to sleep in my arms fully trusting me and preferring me over all those he knew so well…. Broke my heart into a million pieces. Tears were deffininately shed as we loaded onto the bus and I felt as if I were leaving my heart behind… therefore there is now a hole punched in my chest. God can give my heart to whomever He wishes… and He keeps breaking it for what breaks His… and giving it away over and over again…
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